The difference between "What would Jesus do" and what Jesus actually did do

Last night, I was talking to an well-meaning but misguided relative who shall not be named.

She was trying to convince me to reunite with and "reconcile" with my abusive father.

Yes, now it is out in the bloggersphere, for good or for ill. When I was a little girl
my Dad had odd hobbies for his liesure time...like taking nursing infants out of my mother's arms and hitting her then driving away with the baby to show her that he was in control.

My messed-up childhood aside, the point of the matter is, that while this well-intentioned relative was trying to convince me that I was abandoning and rejecting my father by not calling him or talking to him all those years, she kept blindly saying; "What would Jesus do? Would Jesus abandon him like this?"

I always try to follow the example of Christ, but there are many things that I know that I can not do for the simple reason that I am NOT Jesus Christ, the Son of God mad Man who came into the world to free us from our sins. I am Maria...child of God, member of the Mystical Bride of Christ, friend of Jesus Christ, redeemed by His blood.

There are many things that Christ did and does that I try to do in my life and encourage others to do. For example, Jesus fed the hungry, healed the sick, and gave hope to the hopeless. What does that mean for me? That I should give food when I have it to the hungry? Okay, I will put money in the donation box, donate to the food drive, cook my tired friend a meal, spot her/his dinner check when they can't afford it. Heal the sick?
Okay, I'll drive a sick friend to the hospital, make her some medicinal tea, give him my asparin, make them some of my famous homemade chicken soup (that will grow back a leg!).
Give hope and comfort? Grieve with those who are mourning, offer sympathy. This last one is the easiest of all and the one that is in my experience, the most generally neglected by people.

What else did Jesus do? Oh yeah...He died on the cross for our sins. Allowed Himself to be beaten, crowned with thorns, hammered with nails and speared through the heart. He gave us His flesh to eat and His blood to drink. He commanded people to name Him as God. He insisted that He was God.


So, obviously that means that I need to find somebody (maybe my Dad or Mom) and let them beat me with whips, put a crown of thorns on my head, nail me to a cross and then spear me through my heart. Then I need to give them my flesh to eat and my blood to drink. Then I tell my friends not to cry because I am God. (This is the part where you smarter readers start to say, "Wait...what?")

Do you start to see my point? When Jesus told us to follow His example, He never meant by that that we should pretend to be God. God heals the broken hearted, God gives direction to the lost, God chases endlessly after the people who endlessly reject Him because He has a heart that He ALLOWS to be broken SO MANY TIMES BY SO MANY PEOPLE because He has an INFINITE HEART to let them break. I don't. This might come as a surprise, but I AM NOT GOD!

I have a very small, very human heart that I have given to God and to the church, such as it is. Jesus would never tell a crying child or a battered woman to go back to the person who had done that to them and let them keep doing it. Jesus gave comfort to the afflicted and protected the innocent against injustice. In fact, he had some very strong words to say towards people like my Dad.

If I were to take this relative's advice literally, and do what Jesus did, this is what would happen. I would chase my Dad out of the vestibule of his church hitting him repeatedly with a whip made out of cords, saying, "SERPENT! HYPOCRITE!" (yes, Jesus did do that) I would chase after my Dad and say, "RETURN! RETURN O ISRAEL! YOU HAVE MADE YOURSELF A HARLOT!" (Yes, Jesus quoted His Dad on that.) After that, I would leave Him alone (Yes, Jesus actually DID DO what I am doing right now) and say "You shall not see me here again, not until you learn to cry, Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!"

I did not take a whip to my father, because I love him and do not want to hurt him. I have never called him names in my life (he has called me quite a few). I do not have the authority to do that, because I am not Jesus Christ. I did try when he kept saying he was sorry the first hundred times, try to believe him until he kept doing the same bad things again. I did finally say to my father, and I believe Jesus was with me and inspiring me when I did, "Very well. You have made the choice not to love me. I will accept your choice and leave you alone. You do not want reconciliation and forgiveness, you want to go on mistreating me. If you change your heart and mind, I have loved you every day or my life and have always been ready to forgive you."

Then I turned and left, and have not spoken to him in years. That is what I did, trying to do God's will. Sweet Jesus, take pity on me and on him.

The Role of Spiritual Direction in Friendship

A companion is somebody that you share cameraderie and the pleasures of life with. A friend is somebody that lives life with you. Not just the pleasures and perks, but the aunguish and toil as well. A friend is somebody whom you would always help, whom you are not afraid to ask for help. The more close you grow in friendship, the more the person becomes a part of you, and you of him/her.

This is why in our closest friends, they sometimes take on a bit of the role of a Spiritual director. Do not misunderstand me. No friend can take the place of a faithful confessor. What I mean is that your truest friend is one that inspires you to be and do your finest each day for God and your neighbor yet will also accept the fact that you are not perfect. A friend of this calibur knows when to urge you to the difficult neccessary call of virtue, and knows how to put it to you in a way that you will be receptive.

A friendship this deep is giving counsel and a direction and often this includes the deepest and most spiritual realms of the human heart.