Percieving the Presence of the Loving, Living, and Guiding God in your life

I have encountered quite a few people in the relatively short duration of my sojourn in this life who have confessed to not a rational, but an emotional doubt in the presence of God in their lives.

"Sure," they say, "God is infinitely good and merciful, and He has a plan, but...I just find it hard to feel that He is with me, in my mediocre life." Or they say, "I cannot understand God's vision of what is good for me, because He is supposed to know all and see all and always bring good out of evil, and always act for our good...but right now I feel horrible. All these tragedies are going on all around me, and I can't make any sense out of the way that my life is going right now." Or they say, "Life is suffering, it is not supposed to make sense, I should not want to be happy as I perceive happiness to be, because my will is so fallen. Feelings should always be distrusted."

First of all, I want to affirm once and for all that life is not simply a non-stop agony and confusion. Life is good. Sometimes it, maybe often, maybe even the majority of our sojourn here, is wrought with danger, with heartache, with grief, with wounds but it is not perpetual torture from a sadistic God and not a maze of unsolvable puzzles tormenting us to no benefit. Life has meaning, and life has consolation.

That being said, it is also important to add that feelings, although they can not be depended upon in the spiritual life, are not meant to be ignored. God did not give you your intuition, your passions, your dreams and desires only to crush them and confuse you. Yes, passions must be harnessed, desires must not rule you, dreams must not take precedence over everything, and people need discipline. That does not mean that they must be stifled. The difference between disciplining your heart and ignoring it, is like the difference between taking a cold shower and burning away your hand so it will not feel anything anymore.

Now then, how to "feel" in your heart that God is with "even" you and has a plan that day after day draws closer in consummation for you...

The best way to fight bad memories, sorrowful moods, loneliness, emptiness and depression is by filling yourself with good memories, good thoughts, positive actions and beautiful phantasams.

If you are feeling lonely, call a friend. Remind yourself of the God who gave your friend that love and warmth by giving love to and receiving love from your friend. Sometimes your unable to feel anything because you are too tired. Sometimes the best thing to do for your spiritual life is to go and take a nap.
Did somebody say something mean and hateful to you? Go find somebody to say something affirmative to, and go read the loving words of Christ in the Scriptures.
Are you being surrounded by ugliness and profanity? Recite the Divine Praises or vocally praise God or bless a person every time you hear the hateful thing pronounced.

Listen to beautiful music, look at beautiful images, do and make beautiful things. Make little actions as simple as getting your co-worker his coffee, or giving your roommate a back rub, overflow with love.

When you are hurting, you will probably be afraid of silence. But believe me, silence is essential for inner peace. If you have a deep wound, silence can be the only way to draw it out, and make it come to a head so that you can talk about it and heal. So conquer your fear, and calm yourself and seek inner silence.

And the most importantly, do not expect immediate results and do not give up. If you want to bear fruit in this, you will have to be courageous and persistent.

If after all this, you still can not feel any spiritual consolation, do not be afraid. God is withdrawing His consolation from you for a very important reason, to wean your soul and strengthen your love. Do not be surprised if the evil ones attack you a lot during that period, but Christ is always fighting with you, even if you can not feel Him, and the time of trial never lasts forever.

Nurturing One's Soul: Prayer

For many people, prayer is often the most difficult part of their spiritual life. Whether you prefer to pray spontaneously with outbursts from your mind and heart, or murmur the wealth of the treasury of the words spoken by sages and saints.

Some try to do without it for a good deal of the time. They ask me, "Can't I be a good Christian without praying so much?"
My reply is, that your maintaining friendship with God without recourse to prayer and the sacraments is about as likely as your cultivating a steady relationship with a child, or a parent, or a spouse, without spending time with them and talking to them.

To me, and to many, many more like me, it is just common sense. Love is something that has to be striven for, and cultivated. The love of God in your heart is like a newborn child waiting to be fed.
Unless a baby is held, and often, and fed, and listened to, and loved, it will not grow, it will die.

I have had ten younger brothers and sisters, and aside from them, I have attended and babysat and nurtured many children. Everything you do, everything, has to be repeated, again, and again, and again. The child does not learn quickly, because his and her memory is limited. Patience is required as well as persistence.

Children need to be reminded, constantly, that they are loved, that they are safe, that they are not alone. In a similar way, we on our earthly sojourn must put before our eyes and ears reminders of God's infinite and unconditional love for us. Even if babies at first do not understand, that the words and gestures you are prompting from them are names of real things, and that there are causal connections between what they are doing with their mouths and hands and the consequences, you prompt and repeat all the same, in the hope that somehow, that unfathomable mystery called cognition will ignite a flame in their minds and their eyes will be opened.

In the same way, prayers, even from the heart, that does not understand or know how to talk to God (and let's face it, few do), must return again and again to the habit. He must repeat what he does not understand, in the hope that He who holds all mysteries, in an outrageous, scandalous gesture of generosity, will grant that the eyes of the heart will be opened.